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Gavriloaiei Sabina

Imi place sa vorbesc si sa ascult, imi place sa rad, imi place sa fiu inconjurata de oameni de calitate. Mu imi place sa fac lucruri care nu ma reprez...

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Fake it 'till you become it

Mi-am deschis bloggul din curiozitate... apoi a devenit o pasiune... si apoi un obicei.

Articole Blog

01. Inner child - Jun 5, 2020 3:01:00 PM

Briefly, the inner child is everything we learned or felt during our childhood. It is part of our personality, but it is reflected more in our unconscious behavior.

Its origins are closed to the psychologist Carl Jung and its child archetype.

By different therapeutic techniques, each person will take care of its unresolved childhood experiences and it will pay attention to its physical, emotional, and psychological needs.


Every child deserves to feel safe. If you recognize yourself as a child on the following things, maybe it helps if you do a little bit of introspection on your inner child:

You were not allowed to express your own opinions.You were asked to be quiet when trying to speak up.You were taught that it’s not ok to show your emotions or to appreciate yourself.You were verbally criticized / abused.You didn’t receive physical affection.


So, what we can do?

First, to be aware of our inner child. What are our unfulfilled needs or frustration from childhood (eg. for love, protection, understanding)? What traumas or disappointments we had during that time?

Being an adult means to understand that those days are over, to accept what was done and to feed that needs. It helps us to work for the reconciliation between the inner child and the mature adult.

Talk to your inner child and appreciate yourself. If you can’t, find a friend who can support you.


In the end, I want to recommend two books on this theme: for the Romanian readers - Gaspar Gyorgy, but also Stefanie Stahl.


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02. De ce este important masterul? - May 23, 2020 8:40:00 AM

In urma articolului meu despre facultate, m-a rugat cineva sa scriu ceva similar si despre master.

Asa ca m-am gandit putin si uite ce a iesit.


Pentru inceput, cred ca ar fi bine sa precizez ca eu am fost studenta la vreo 4-5 ani dupa introducerea sistemului Bologna. Asta inseamna ca am facut parte dintr-o generatie care a avut norocul sa intre intr-un sistem care avea deja niste directii stabilite in privinta modului de lucru (nu am facut parte din acele generatii ”de sacrificiu” de la inceput), insa era totusi destul de devreme pentru a avea pretentia de a avea profesori care sunt ”la zi” cu ce este nevoie in piata.


Personal, am simtit ca masterul m-a specializat in domeniul in care lucrez in momentul de fata.

Puteam eu sa ma angajez in domeniu si fara master? DA - doar ca era nevoie de mai mult efort din partea managerului meu sa imi explice niste concepte (deci teorie) despre procesele sau activitatile mele. Daca ne gandim la faptul ca primul angajator are obligatia de a-ti forma niste deprinderi (pe care nu le poti dobandi decat prin activitati practice), iar peste acest lucru mai adaugi si obligatia de a te invata niste aspecte teoretice - insertia in piata muncii va fi mai grea, iar pt tine ca junior va fi si mai greoi sa cresti profesional.


Cred ca situatia este total diferita in cadrul facultatilor tehnice. Acolo, licenta poate fi de ajuns pentru a profesa - sunt destule situatii de IT-isti care poate nici nu au terminat facultatea, dar si-au gasit job inca din anul 2-3 de facultate. DAR… studiile, in cazul lor, sunt dublate de foarte multa pasiune si lucru individual. Fara ele, unii dintre ei pot face si 10 specializari pentru ca tot nu ajung sa devina specialisti foarte buni.


Concurenta intre programele de formare a crescut (intre facultatile din cadrul aceleasi universitati, intre specializari similare din orase diferite, dar si intre institutiile publice si cele private de pe acelasi profil). Acest lucru a determinat facultatile sa se dezvolte si sa impuna profesorilor sa isi actualizeze cursurile. Cunosc multe facultati in care au intrat la catedra profesori tineri care sunt mult mai activi in piata muncii si care si-au adaptat materia. Toate acestea ma fac sa cred ca sistemul universitar merge intr-o directie buna. Exista in continuare destula presiune pe el pentru a fi mult mai aplicativ, dar cred ca se fac eforturi in directia aceasta.


Poate ca procesul formarii la locul de munca pare usor, dar daca este sa ne gandim ca terminam facultatea cand avem in jur de 22 de ani, iar la primul loc de munca invatam nu doar ”meserie”, ci si bune practice (cum sa respectam un program de 8 ore, cum sa fim productivi, cum sa raportam activitatea, cum sau de unde sa cautam informatii, cum sa facem fata stresului profesional, cum sa ne prezentam unui client … si lista poate continua), atunci lucrurile se complica mult. In acest context, masterul iti ofera inca 2 ani in care sa te maturizezi.


Multi absolventi, putine joburi entry-level. Ma gandesc la situatia ideala - cea in care alegi o facultate pe care ti-o doresti pentru a lucra intr-un domeniu pe care ti-l doresti (facem abstractie de persoanele care urmeaza o facultate doar pt diploma!). Sunt putine companiile care deschid multe roluri entry-level pentru ca sunt putine cele care isi permit sa investeasca timp intr-un junior cu zero experienta. Sunt putine pt ca este un proces care necesita sa aloci resurse umane suplimentare si timp in plus pentru formare, iar in mediul corporate obiectivul principal este sa generezi profit. In acest context, fiecare lucru pe care il adaugi in CV pe langa diploma de licenta ajuta in a te diferentia de alti zeci de absolventi care concureaza cu tine pe acelasi rol.


Diploma de master nu te ajuta sa cresti in ierarhia din companie. Nu iti ofera nici macar acea deducere pt studii superiore valabila in anumite domenii.

Prin urmare, masterul il faci doar pentru a te specializa pe un domeniu si, uneori, pentru a cunoaste persoane care deja profeseaza.


PS: pot sa scriu un articol si despre de ce este importat doctoratul… daca sunt curiosi :D



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03. How our work will change after COVID? - May 15, 2020 6:16:00 PM

For sure all of us will feel a change in everything we do after COVID - from how we travel to the way we work.

I talked about how what personal changes to expect, but how our work will change?

Let me share with you my ideas:

It will be easier to work remotely. Even if most companies emphasize their collaborative way of working, during the last days we had to work from home. In some cases, there were more arrangements to do (think about how many of you had a working space with a desk at home?), but for sure from now on it will be easier to do this.Our work can be different. This period made us more creative or flexible in our tasks so we can accept new ways of working or just new activities.The job market will change. We will need more specialists in some domains and we already reduced the numbers on others because we saw that we can live without them.We will accept easier technology and we will reduce bureaucracy. If these days we did things without waiting for 10 signatures (because we didn’t afford to take all of them in self), probably this simplified way of working can be accepted in the future.We will communicate better because we learned how to do it during this period. I miss a lot of our meetings from the office, but also Zoom is ok.More personal development programs with a focus on employees wellbeing and mental healthBudges will be adjusted to have more efficient investments

My personal statement after this period will be to focus more on local brands - to buy or use only products made local companies; to sustain local events or artists.


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04. Success @ work - May 1, 2020 10:39:00 AM
Happy International Workers' Day 😄 !We all want to have success - it is in our nature to be high self-esteem and success can help with this.But what we have to do for this? At work, it is a mix because it depends on us, on our skills, on our team. There are some internal factors, but also some external ones. But being good doesn’t guarantee your success.We use to work in a very dynamic and competitive environment and we must struggle for success. But how?
First, I think that we have to be honest with our selves and see if we do want to have success at work. Yes… you understood well: if we WANT this. Why? Because there are a lot of people who are not motivated by their work/job. If you don’t like your job, you are not upset if you don’t have success.Then, it is very important to know the objective of your job. How do you want to perform well if you don’t know what the success would mean on your job?You understood how ”the best” looks like on your job and, now, you have to work on it. I mean that you have to learn and to develop your necessary skills. Training, conferences, books - everything can help you to be successful.You can progress if you accept and you ask for supplementary work. And I don’t mean that you necessarily have to do extra hours. But you can try to do some extra-activities that will develop new competencies for you.Work on good work-relationship - with your peers, but also with your manager. All of you make a team and all of you will work for collective success.Grow your social network. Search professional events, look for some specialists on your domain, be up-to-date with everything new on your work. Find a relevant mentor who can help you to grow.Make a constant effort. I know that when you start a new job, you use to put an extra effort into your work. But this doesn’t have to end after your probation period. It has to be a constant intention for you to learn and develop.
Probably, for some of you, this article doesn’t contain any new information.I don’t expect to give to you any new information. But I wanted more to make you think if you use to do the things I mentioned above.

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05. A Pink Unicorn: the Self-Confidence - Apr 24, 2020 2:05:00 PM
We all want self-confidence. It helps us at work, but also it influences our relationships with others.Not everybody was born with high self-esteem, but some of us just learn how to boost it.You can see below some tips on this:
Have a clear-defined imagine about what you want to have or you want to be. When you know what you want to receive, it is easier to work on it. Visualize yourself on that point and think about what steps you have to do.Change your mindset. Maybe it is difficult, but the way you express yourself or what you think about you influences the way you feel. Make a list with things you like to yourself and you will understand why you deserve the best.Be conscientious of the negative thoughts you have. When you ”see” them, chase them away.Changes with small bits. You can’t be a new person overnight, but you can try to change a little bit, every bad habit you have. You can try to do a thing that you never did before or to make it different and think about how you feel. Every limit you pass helps you to be more confident about what new things you can achieve.Honor the achievements you have. Be grateful and enjoy what you did.Be careful of the people near you. Some people who can help you, but also people you can help. No matter what, choose people with the same values as you have.Keep balance. Be focused on your mind, but also on your body. Eat healthily, drink only good things, and have psychical activity.

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06. Sarbatori Fericite sa avem! - Apr 17, 2020 5:36:00 AM

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07. What do we learn after this quarantine period? - Apr 10, 2020 5:23:00 PM
We live a period when the entire world is hurt by COVID-19. There are some new conditions that we have to confront, there are some emotions we feel and, for sure, there will be some habits we will have.Of course, this is a difficult period, but I am sure that we will pass thought this and it will be into our benefits to learn from what we live now.Because of this, I made a list with some things I learned this period:
To follow the rules - from washing hands to stay home, everything into our benefitsTo appreciate each thing we have - a lot of events were canceled this period, and also a lot of vacations. But there will be more during the next yearsTo respect the social distance - most of us love hugs and kisses. But nowadays, we can not afford themTo be more involved in the time we spent with our relatives or friends - when you stay home, you became aware of all the people you can meet anymore face-to-face. Connect with them online, it helps a lotTo plan better next days/weeks - until now, we could go shopping each moment we want. Now, it is safe to have some supplies.To live with few resources - or just to be creative and use the ones you haveTo be more attentive to all around the world events - you don’t know when it can affect us too

What about you? What’s your lesson from this?
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08. What motivates you in life? - Mar 27, 2020 6:41:00 PM
I read that every morning, Steve Jobs used to look in the mirror and asked himself: “If today was the last day of my life, would I be happy with what I’m about to do today?”When his answer was ”no”; he started to make some changes.
I think that for most people, happiness is the greatest motivator in life. It is in our nature as human beings to want to be happy.And it is also our duty to work for our happiness.So, try a small exercise each day - in the morning (while you prepare for work) or during the night (while you prepare to go to sleep). Take 2 minutes to reflect on this:
Are you a good parent / spouse / friend?Do you love your job?Do you smile enough during your day?
If not, what are you doing to change this?
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09. Between benefit and mandatory - work-from-home - Mar 16, 2020 4:29:00 PM
I am not a big fan of work-from-home. Not because I like to spend time in traffic, but because I like working in an office and to spend time with the team.Nowadays, due to the Coronavirus problem, we have to work-from-home.To avoid the alienation (as it can happen to myself), we can take some measures to facilitate our work and our professional relationships:
Set up some objectives - like a ”to-do list” for each working day. In this way, every day you will feel motivated to work and achieve some objectives.Get dressed / make-up or hair as  you do when you work from the office. Keep this routine to have a proper mindset for work.Befriend with a lot of online platforms - from solutions to upload in the cloud the documents to any platform where you can communicate with the team (eg. Skype, Zoom, etc.)Prepare your ”office”. Avoid working from the bad - you can’t concentrate there. And avoid working in the same room with the rest of your family - they will distract your attention.Respect the working hours - in this way, you will delimitate what is work and what is personal time, even if they are in the same place. Don’t go to non-work appointments during the day (like to a doctor or shopping) because they will disrupt your work.Setup more online meeting with the team, for updatesUse the camera - even if you don’t see each other face-to-face, it helps you to see online your peers.

What about you? In what way do you feel efficient when you work-from-home?
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10. How do we improve the learning process - Mar 7, 2020 7:51:00 AM
Nowadays, there are a lot of debates on what the educational system should change.We, as individuals, changed a lot during the latest decades. The children also changed. Because of this, I think that some things that can improve the learning process for the children:
The need to understand the ”why”. Nowadays, we have a lot of resources when we want to learn something. We are anymore used to be obedient and, because of this, we can’t learn new things only because a teacher says so. If it makes sense, we understand that we will need it and we can learn it.The need to play. And the things we learn from the games - even if there are sports or foreign languages or some technical skills.The need to have questions. We are full of curiosities and children use to have more than us. You can assimilate easier information if you discover it. As an adult, you have to stimulate this research.The need to make mistakes. It is healthy for us to have a positive attitude towards failure. From this, we can learn what we have to improve ourselves. If we see our mistakes with fear, this will freeze us for that moment and it won’t help us in the long termThe need for a periodicity. If we do the same thing for a long time, we will be bored with this. But also, it will help us to learn a certain behavior and to practice it. That is the reason why it is good to have a certain schedule for the classes.
Think about your favorite teacher. For what it was so special?
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11. Attached - Feb 21, 2020 5:46:00 PM
In the month of love, let's talk about attachment.Attachment is the emotional bond that is formed first between the child and its caregiver. The theory says that primary caregivers who are available and responsive to an infant's needs allow the child to develop a sense of security. This relationship influences the development of the child and it influences his future relationships as an adult. It creates a coping system - a mental representation for the difficult moments (seen in the case of the children as a separation moment). Because of this, it will provide some behaviors to survive in a difficult moment. Researchers used to separate children from their caregivers and observed their behavior. Based on this, the literature mentioned 4 types of attachment:Secure attachment  - children with this type may be distress when separated from caregivers and joy when the caregiver returns.Ambivalent attachment (or anxious) - it specific for the child who is frightened by separation and continues to display anxious behavior once the caregiver returns.Avoidant attachment - in the case of a child who reacts fairly calmly to a parent’s separation and does not embrace their return.Disorganised attachment - it manifests in odd or ambivalent behavior toward a caregiver upon return—approaching then turning away from or even hitting the caregiver; it may be a result of some traumas.It seems to be some association between attachment characteristics early in life and those in adulthood, especially for romantic relationships. We may expect some adults, for example, to be secure in their relationships - to feel confident that their partners will be there for them when needed, and open to depending on others and having others depend on them. We should expect other adults, in contrast, to be insecure in their relationships. When you realise what is your attachment style, you can be also aware of the dysfunctional behaviors you have. You understand what behaviors you took with you from childhood and you can start to make some changes on the ones which don’t fit with your adult role anymoreYou can find more information about attachment here: 1 , 2 or 3
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12. How to write a professional email? - Feb 8, 2020 6:29:00 AM
It can look like an easy task, but writing a reply to an email it can take some time if you want to skip all the mistakes can happen.If you want to be an easy process, you can cut the email in some parts and analyze each of them like this:
The Greeting. As you wish, you can look for something very formal, or you can try just ”Hi” and put the name. You can try also ”Dear” but I think that this fits bets with people you know very wellThe Body. Present yourself and get to the point. You have to be both concise, but detailedThe Sign-Off. If you like being more formal, try ”best wishes” or ”all the best”. If you want to be more friendly, try ”Yours” or the casual version ”kind regards”. When you close your email with an action point, you can sum up with ”Thank in advance for ”.
Try short sentences written with a clear font.If it is necessary, be sure that you will write also your phone (in the text email or on your signature)Try to send the email during normal business hours, especially when you need an urgent response.If you need to send an email written in English (and English it is not your mother language), you can try some spelling check. Grammarly is a tool that can help you, but there are other more.In the end, I think that writing an email for the job is important because it says something about how are you as a professionist. Ask for feedback from your manager or from a colleague so you can improve this skill.
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13. With or without a picture - Jan 31, 2020 5:45:00 PM
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Even if we are talking about a resume or a Linkedin profile, there is usually a debate around sharing or not a picture with yourself.I like profiles with a picture because it helps me to remember easier that profile. To be an advantage for the candidate, of course, that it has to be a suitable picture.Maybe that is easier to talk about pictures that are not suitable for Linkedin:Pictures from your wedding (or from another important event) – probably in that picture you look very well and you like it. But I think it is not proper to present yourself in a professional context in your wedding dress or with the hairstyle from that event.Sharing a photo where you are with a friend – it can happen just partially or entirely. In both cases, it is visible that you put a photo just to have it and you didn’t pay attention to select a good one.Clothes: t-shirt with straps, short pants or flip-flops. They are nice, but for the summer holidaysA picture made in the club during the weekend (maybe also with a drink): it is nice, but for the Facebook accountAn old picture or a picture with some effects. Also, I think that they are nice, but I don’t think that they fit with the aim of Linkedin.

Writing the things above I don’t want to sustain the idea to present yourself on Linkedin very different from how you are day by day. But I want to make you aware that the way you present yourself on Linkedin sends a message of how you are on your professional life. And this thing can suit or not with the job you applied for.
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14. Do we still read? - Jan 19, 2020 8:42:00 AM

In the end, I think that if we want to grow our communities, we have to invest in culture. So, when was the last time when you bought some culture?

PS: here is my 2019 list with favorite books
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16. A sabbatical period - Jan 4, 2020 10:07:00 AM

Nowadays, I hear frequently about people who want to take a sabbatical period.It happens this probably because we are tired of the usual work and we want to reconnect with our passions. It is a good time to think about what you did until that moment and what are your expectations for the future. You can do volunteering work, you can learn new things or just travel.From the legal side, you can quit your job or take un unpaid holiday period.Try a reasonable period (maximum 1 year). When you came back to work for sure you will receive a lot of questions about what you did. It will be a challenge to adapt again to your work schedule.But also, when you came back to work, you will feel more relaxed and this is great for both of you (employee and employer).
If you want a sabbatical period, but you don't know what to do, you can find here some ideas.
I wish you all a beautiful, magical and happy new year!

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17. Happy New Year! - Jan 1, 2020 1:27:00 PM

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18. Ganduri ca de final de an - Dec 30, 2019 1:30:00 PM

19. 19 books which make my year - Dec 20, 2019 6:11:00 PM

20. Things to do as an employee - Dec 7, 2019 12:35:00 PM
Make a career planMake a habit of making new things (to be out of your comfort zone)Practice, practice and... you can try also to practiceTake time for professional networkingInvest in long-term objectivesLearn and read - always and everythingFind a mentorPay attention to your time management skillsShare your knowledgeDevelop healthy habits
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21. The recruiter and the candidate. Love or hate? - Nov 23, 2019 12:12:00 PM

22. The Prisoner’s Dilemma - Nov 1, 2019 6:06:00 PM

The Prisoner’s Dilemma presents this scenario: Two suspects have been accused of a crime and they are now in separate rooms in a police station, with no communication possible with the other. The prosecutor has separately told them the following:If you confess and agree to testify against the other suspect, who does not confess, the punishment against you will be dropped and you will be free.If you do not confess but the other suspect does, you will be convicted and the the prosecution will seek the maximum sentence of three years.If both of you confess you will both be sentenced to five years in prison.If neither of you confesses you will both be accused and you will be sentenced to two years in prison.
What should the suspects do? The prisoner’s dilemma provides a framework for understanding how to strike a balance between cooperation and competition and is a useful tool for strategic decision-making.For example, in the real world, if two companies have an implicit agreement to keep the same salaries ranges in a given year, their costs may stay at relatively same levels. But if one defects and raises its budget, it may attract better employees than the other company. However, if both companies boost their budgets, they can attract similar profiles, but neither will be more efficient than the other.Or, think about a working task which has to be split between 2 employees. The best situation is when both of them are equally involved. If one of them doesn't involve, for sure he will save time and effort. But the other one will double his effort. If no one involves, they both loose.Unfortunately, if we know that we have to cooperate, we will easily feel better when the other looses. It will help us to be aware of every moment that we cannot have success without the team's success. For the team's success, we have to communicate and collaborate properly.

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23. Why every recruitment process needs time? - Oct 18, 2019 6:09:00 PM

I am a recruiter and many candidates use to tell me ”instead of having a meeting, it would be easier to send me some JDs and I will decide if there is something which interests me”. I totally agree that everyone's time is very important. If you are ok with your job, you don't want to spend time in other recruitment processes. You feel that it is a waste of time to have an HR interview, then some technical tests or interviews, some meetings with the team or with the manager, or to see the office.But when you involve in some recruitment processes, there is a chance to find what new projects there are in the market and what are the newest technical requirements. Yes... being informed also needs time!
If you don't like to treated as one between many other specialists in the market, why do you treat a job or a company like one in many others?I use to say that nowadays recruitment processes there are some win-win processes. Both (the employee and the employer) can choose and both of them invest time.So, why every recruitment process needs time and more steps for you, as a candidate? Because in this way you will know if you fit with the company or with the team, if you would like your manager or if the project will allow you to grow.There is an experiment in Psychology that sais that we appreciate more the things for whom we work harder. It's not important if you work on IT or sales, if you are an HR or an engineer. If you don't take time to involve in a recruitment process, most probably you don't care about this choice. If you don't care about this choice, you are not allowed to complain about the job. That is the reason why some people are happy with their jobs and some aren't. And that is the reason why some specialists just choose a job and others choose a career.
In the end, I will propose an exercise – it is not important in what domain you work or what seniority you have. Think at the most wanted company in the market – that company where you really appreciate for their product, or for their specialist or clients. What makes you so special and it will convince them to hire you?When you will have the answer to this question, for sure you will treat with the maximum seriosity that recruitment process!

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24. Self-Handicapping at Work - Oct 13, 2019 5:43:00 PM

Self-handicapping involves engaging in behaviors that sabotage your chances of success. Although we all want to feel good, sometimes we preffer to avoid taking responsibilities for our activity. The phenomenon was first described by researchers Stephen Berglas and Edward Jones in 1978.Do you remember when you were a student and you had to prepare for an exam? Do you remember that sometimes that was the most proper moment to start.... cleaning your room, instead of studying? Then, of course, it was the other¢s fault for your poor result J.When you find an outside source to blame for possible failures, it can be an effective strategy for protecting your self-esteem. But this has a significantly negative impact on success. It can lead to lower motivation and less incentive to try to succeed in the future.
To avoid this at work, ask yourself: “How am I growing professionally right now?” If you feel that is complicated to answer on this, then you can try to identify these behaviors:Avoiding AccountabilityLacking Self-AwarenessHaving Tunnel VisionLacking EngagementPoor Analysis and Decision MakingPoor CommunicationPoor Talent DevelopmentMicromanagingNot Driving for Results
This list is made by Phillip Decker and Jordan Mitchell. The good news is that inside the book Self-Handicapping Leadership , they guide on how to overcome them.

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25. Are we right? - Sep 28, 2019 5:41:00 AM